Love on the Brain, Part II

Just short of a month ago, I wrote a blog discussing love and brain chemistry. This week, in lieu of Valentine's day, I am continuing my thoughts.

I recently read an article in Psychology Today discussing the importance of touch in a relationship. The article discussed that touch, particularly during a tense moment, can alleviate harsh feelings toward your significant other. The author, Sue Johnson, even noted that, "Once we do feel safely linked with our partner, we can tolerate the hurts they will- inevitably- inflict upon us..."

While the article, Hold Me Tight, works through a number of mishandled conflicts of couples, it ultimately establishes that physical connection will essentially bring deep emotional connection. She rejects the idea that during conflict leaving the other person alone does any real good for the relationship. At one point, Johnson explains an example of a man, who is frustrated that making tea for the woman he loves, when she is afraid or timid, isn't enough, and rather, he ought to put his hand on her shoulder and draw her in- this will calm her that much more. She discusses the idea that couples who are in love are always touching. Johnson says that observing a couple reaching for one another is a tangible sign of their desire to love each other and connect in a way, that just maybe, they did not before.

Ironically, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages, lists Physical Touch as one of the five. The others include: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Words of Affirmation. He emphasizes that if we begin to love our significant other in their love language rather than our own, our chances of success change drastically.

Certainly all acts of love are important into establishing healthy relationships and maintaining them. It's important to learn about the psychological, emotional and even biological aspects of how we are treating the persons we love the most in our lives.

Your thoughts?

And from me to you- Happy Love Day!