"at least i'm living"

"i have  to have something so that when i don't have any ideas and i'm not getting anywhere, i can say to myself, "at least i'm living; at least i'm doing something; i'm making some contribution." - it's just psychological." --richard p. feynman 

or is it? in most cases, i think the answer is yes- both/and or perhaps non of the above. confused? don't be.

in the society we live in today, boredom is not acceptable. the buzz of everyday life is prevalent to one's worthiness that it's self depressing when we're not doing anything- that is to say- a little contemplation and peace of mind is down right --a crime. and it should not be. why? because it is vital and necessary. we all need to "re-charge" and burning out is never a profitable feeling.

however- letting the world pass us by when we could making an impact is just as great of a misfortune. and it can be just as much a self-loathing experience when one finds themselves bitter and grave toward the world- offering nothing- and not recognizing the power within them to give something.

"it was effortless. it was easy to play with these things. it was like uncorking a bottle: everything flowed out effortlessly. i almost tried to resist it! there was no importance to what i was doing, but ultimately there was. the diagrams and the whole business that i got the noble prize for came from that piddling around..." --richard p. feynman

my friends, i believe that when we realize just who we are- and just what our capacity truly is- nothing is impossible. what's more is that when we find something we're sincerely passionate about and when we let go of the worry of trying to please everybody, the work itself becomes effortless and we are able to accomplish great things, even if we think it's just a little "messing around." in some form it can and will contribute to the world.

between the first and last sentences of that chapter: feynman explained that he had faced a time while at cornell university where, frankly, he was burnt out. and the offers he was getting from other colleges were daunting, particularly because they were expecting something of him, he did not think, he could truly provide. nevertheless; he realized that he couldn't worry about living up to their expectations that truly, he just wanted to "play" with physics. by this: his enjoyment and passion for what he did returned.

i find his process inspiring. certainly there are times when we all feel stuck in a rut. but rather than sitting idle and frustrated, not to detract from times of needed rest, why not "piddle" around and just see what beautiful things pour out of us? it just might make a difference ...all the way around.