The Neon Sign

I remember staring at the neon sign a mile away. I sat on the porch with a great view of that particular corner in the city. There it was, in all it's glory, but I would not be working there that night and I didn't know when I would return. I was itching for a full-time slot and wondered if I would ever get back. Oh, I suppose, since I was considered a "temp" or a "freelancer" I couldn't have considered myself full time before, but I did work 40 hours a week, trained 30 more and had made more money than most of my previous jobs.

Unfortunately, my hours for the year had run out and I had failed to make a full time connection, not that it was easy in the first place.

Sitting on the dirty, but comfortable futon on the porch and dangling my phone from my finger tips, I wondered if I would make it in again. I was frustrated and hated the idea of going right back into waitressing. Yet it was the only job easy enough for me to jump back into for fast cash . I needed the money because, now, among other challenges, my bed was at the mercy of hosts.

I knew that I was qualified for the jobs I applied for. I knew that it would take a lot of hard work, more so this time, that I was outside the building and didn't have access. It was going to require phone calls and emails that, sometimes, were never returned. I don't know what motivated me, but I would do it anyway, I needed to. Of course, in the meantime I needed to get money in my pocket, pay bills, eat and over stay my welcome on a futon in the open living room. Certainly I was grateful for a place to sleep, but it didn't take away my hopes for something better.

Staring at the neon sign frustrated me and gave me some motivation too. I suppose it was a kind of battle.

I would have many nights on that porch, trying to get a little peace and quite from the constant activity in the house, trying to figure out what was next. And over the next few months, I would struggle to get the money I needed working at a restaurant, a lounge, a retail job and finally a sports bar. Nevertheless; I found a way to stand on my feet, exercise the lessons I'd learned about moving forward and staying persistent.