I actually like the show. I'm not religious about it or anything, but if I catch it, it is pretty interesting. Dr. Drew Pinsky, known for his radio program called Love Lines, hosts a show that assists celebrities with their drug and mental difficulties. Last week I watched an episode where the people getting treatment were participating in group therapy. It was quite amazing to see these men and woman, so low, yet able to find encouragement for each other. Certainly Dr. Drew offered his advice and guidance, but each person had something to contribute the woman who's mother was a drug addict and influenced her, or another woman who was raped and felt she deserved it, or the man in a wheel chair, suffering extreme pain and emotional problems after his surgeries. There is something about a group of people confessing to one another, laying their burdens down, feeling like they can make it b/c they are not alone.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote to you about how the online community is supporting people's dark Secrets and Confessions. People need community. They need to be lifted up. They need forgiveness. They need human contact, love, and acceptance. Their admittance is often their ticket to freedom.
But someone brought something to my attention, after my last post. There are things that people will still take to their grave. What I want to know is, why?
If confession is so "liberating," then why must their be shame? If we want to find out that we're not alone, then why hide? The truth is- there is no need for either of these things. There is Forgiveness, there is True Love and there is Acceptance. But it takes a kind of faith to believe that. It takes the acknowledgement that doing it "alone" is getting us no-where. It is the belief that "there's no such thing as a secret." Someone already knows, someone already shares your experience and it's ok.
When we, as human beings, realize this- then we are one step away from breaking out of our box. We are one step away from living a life of freedom and grace. We can love ourselves, we can love other people. Everyone has a past, everyone has a story, and there must be away to release it. There must be others to recieve it and accept it. It is possible to fight against the thing that tears each person down from who they are and are meant to be. Sometimes in our weakest moment, we can be used for the greatest good...for someone else's good.
Whether it's anonymous admission, or perhaps sitting amongst a group of fellow addicts- "Living," really really LIVING is possible.
This video is by Alter Bridge. It is called Watch Over You and was dedicated to Celebrity Rehab.
Well Ash, some people take things to the grave because they think their shame and guilt is penance for their wrongdoings. The torture we inflict on ourselves is felt to be deserved, and if you feel you don't deserve forgiveness, then why ask for it. Besides, many people can't just throw it out there because it may implicate them legally.
ReplyDeleteThere needs to be absolute anonymity for the confessor to feel safe confessing, otherwise it won't work. Dostoyevsky's(sp?) "Crime and Punishment" is a great observation into what people who feel guilt can do to themselves. I highly recommend it.
Now, I speak from my experiences with drug addiction, and being in hospitals like the one in the TV dramas you mention. I personally don't like those programs. They are sensationalizing, salacious, and are playing on the celebrity culture that is rampant in America. People see it as entertainment; seeing peoples pain as something to gawk at. Most viewers don't care that these people are suffering, and more importantly are judging the afflicted, and take no part in the trust that the confessing person gives to the group they are confessing to. They aren't in the room; aren't a part of the intimacy that is promoted for the benefit of the group. The viewer has nothing invested; nothing to give, and everything to take. Can you imagine what it would do to the confessor if they were to be approached by a stranger on the street who attacks them for whatever it was they did? That would be devastating for them.
I have to go now, but this topic, I think, goes to the heart of the human condition, but is one that deserves a great deal of sensitivity.
Alex
let me start w/ the show on VH1. if i gave any reference to it being entertainment, that wasn't my intention. but i think including these reality shows are important. i would think that the viewers would be touched if not inspired to get the help they need as well. i have in a place where i have had "group therapy" so to speak and i know the power in it. when i first moved to atlanta, i regularly watched a show called, "starting over"- and it was valuable show to watch. the idea of sticking 6 or 7 women in a house to deal w/ the troubles and mistakes of their lives was powerful. i learned something. dr. drew gives sound advice and those participants know that they are being broadcast, i can't imagine they are in it to be seen- i'm sure their agreeing to the tv series is hope that their viewers will learn something. a viewer may not have anything to contribute, but they can be inspired. these places to confess, and pull through the darkest parts of our lives, whether w/ an organization, online or whatever are important avenues for people who need to help to get it or be pushed toward it.
ReplyDeleteyou talk about incriminating oneself through confession. but alex, that's why 5th amendment exists, that's why there are patient/doctor privileges and that's why a priest or pastor does not have to testify is various cases. that's why there are anonymous hot lines and anonymous online services...it's for people to feel safe.
people need belief. they need confidence. and my hope is that people will be encouraged to have it. reading this, i hope that someone stumbles across it and realizes they have nothing to fear...speaking of- my favorite quote says, "perhaps we are all refugess from something, but i see now, there is nothing to fear."
if one person watching the programs or getting a hold of that idea from the sites or whatever, then i think their missions are accomplished. one person is all it takes, i think. and while over-coming fear can be difficult, it IS possible.